YES, WE CAN!

What Not to Wear

One of my favorite shows is What Not to Wear on the cable channel TLC. For those of you out there who don't know what What Not to Wear is about (which is probably most of you), it is a reality television show where Stacy and Clinton, the show's hosts, take a person who has no fashion sense, i.e. everyones' grandmother or great aunt Irma, and give them $5,000 for a shopping spree. But wait, there's a catch. Irma has to give all of her clothes to Stacy and Clinton, and watch they throw the clothes in a trash can. But, in the end, Stacy and Clinton go shopping with Irma and find the perfect clothes for her. Trust me, you will not recognize Irma when you see her again.

With that in mind, imagine my shock when I read that the RNC gave my girl, Sarah, a make over. They bought her and her family a whole new wardrobe. But when the RNC shops they do it in style. Price tag for Sarah et. al.? $150,000!!!

Great Aunt Irma--$5,000 to make her look good. Sarah Palin--$150,000 to make her look good. Maybe the RNC should have asked Stacy and Clinton and save $145,000!

My Girl! My Girl! My Girl!

I

That's right--I love Sarah!

Without a doubt, she is the best thing to happen to America since Wonder Bread. I think she truly represents the best of the American heartland--ignorance, lack of curiosity, lack of compassion, anti-education, anti-culture, zenophobia, racist, etc. etc. etc. At her rallies, she allows the crowds to rear their beautiful heads, expose their true selves, express there inner desires. It recently came to a head when at one of her rallies when a member of the crowd shouted "Kill him!" meaning Obama. Considering her corporatist values and the way she is able to rally her base, it is obvious that she is exposing the ugly fascist underbelly of red state America.

It's interesting some of the things she accuses Obama of -- anti-Americanism, socialism, elitism, etc. etc. etc. makes me want to vote for him even more!

But this doesn't mean I don't love Sarah. Oh, can't you imagine her in her Nazi garb, Luger in one hand, Bible in the other, wearing a short, short skirt? Of course you can.

The End is Nigh!?!?

I wanted to know who was going to bail me out. Apparently it's the Republicans!?!

"'The bailout we are interested in is bailing out the American taxpayer,' said Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas, chairman of the conservative Republican Study Group."

Wow. The Republicans want to help, lil' ole, working class me.

"According to the group, the solution to the financial meltdown is to lower capital gains and corporate tax rates to get money off the sidelines and into the economy."

Oh wait. They want to keep bending lil' ole, working class me over!
No thanks!
(I knew they were assholes!)

Got Bailouts?

Bear Stearns.
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
AIG.
What about me? Who's gonna bail me out?

My aching head! My aching stomach!

Gustav. Evacuation. Damage. Head aches. Gut aches. Ike. Government failure. Stolen car. Insurance "issues." Pains. But, what has made me insane is this:

What is this? A crowd. A crowd? Yes. A very special crowd these are supporters of this:

What is this? Sarah Palin. Palin? A governor. Alaska. Alaska? Alaska:

Fun Alaska fact: Dog mushing is the official state sport.

And before that? Mayor of this:

Fun fact: Population then, about 6,300.

And before that, this:

Second runner up in the 1984 Miss Alaska pagent.

Next this:

I just don't fuckin' get it. I just don’t understand.

Michelle Obama

I watched Michelle Obama give her speech at the convention last night, and I'm ready to say that she'd make a great First Lady. In fact she would make great strides and bringing likability to the position of First Lady.

Let's take a look at the past few decades of first ladies:


Nancy Reagan: First Lady January 20, 1981 - January 20, 1989

Not much positive here to say. I wouldn't want to be married to her, so I would want my President married to her.

Barbara Bush: First Lady January 20, 1989 - January 20, 1993

I meet her once, she seemed like a nice grandma. Do we want grandma in the White House?






Hillary Clinton: First Lady January 20, 1993 - January 20, 2001

Finally a First Lady who isn't embarrassing! Tough, smart, savvy, pretty good looking, would probably make a good president. Too bad she played tougher than the boys, I think that did her in.

Laura Bush: First Lady2001, January 20 - ....

For God's sake--No. No. No.

America it is time to add a woman to this list whom we can be proud of--smart, down-to-earth, non-divisive, hipper than the previous ones:

My Conversation with Pastor Rick Warren

I watched the over hyped Leadership and Compassion Forum that Pastor Rick Warren held with Obama and McCain. Based out of SoCal, Pastor Rick pastors at the mega-church Saddleback Church. Pastor Rick is an influential and painfully hip, casual born again Christian.

Anybody can read the transcripts of the interviews. However, I figured more interesting than the answers the suave and polished political machines humming along would provide, would be my answers to those same questions. So imagine Pastor Rick across from me and asking (and I’m cutting to the chase of these questions, but they are the questions he asked):

Pastor Rick: Who are the three wisest people you know in your life and who are you going to rely on heavily in your administration?

Dada Bob: Well Pastor Rick that’s a great soft ball of a question. I’d have to start for political reasons to say first and foremost, my mother. (Without irony. Come on now, give me a break!) She has been with me through thick and thin. And had I listened to her advice I probably would have gotten into as much trouble in my life as I have. The second person, would be my wife. Now this doesn’t mean that I listen to her, but she’s so down to earth, that it’d be hard to go wrong listening to her advice. I like to dance out on the edge; she doesn’t. She’s much wiser than I am. And finally, in an effort to appease people like your Pastor Rick, I’d have to say that my religious counselor is the wisest person I know and is another one you simply sees through the bullshit and doesn’t let the stink stick to his shoes. Granted, my religious counselor is a Tibetan Buddhist monk and that probably has you and your congregation either damning me to hell, praying for me, or both, but the truth is Geshela just isn’t caught up in the affairs of this life and can quickly disabuse you of the pettiness of it all.

In terms of my administration, let’s face it, I’m not going to be elected, but if I were I’d probably ask some folks from NPR and Comedy Central to help out. They really do seem to know what’s going on, more so than most politicians or people I know.

P.R.: What …would be the greatest moral failure in your life and what would be the greatest moral failure of America?

D.B. I’d like to think that I don’t have any great moral failures—I’ve never stolen (much), cheated on a loved one, physically harmed anyone, etc. Not that I’m some angel, far from it. I can be a real asshole—just ask my wife. But in terms of the grand scheme of moral failure, I’d say that I haven’t stood up to power in a meaningful way. In a way that really and truly jeopardized my position—physically, socially or culturally. I’m all bark and no bite. A pussy.

It’s much easier to be a critic and point the finger at others. So America’s moral failures are easy for me to spot and discuss. A list in no particular order:
The way we have allowed the few to control the many.
The way we treat the elderly, the poor and the disadvantaged.
The way we have based a foreign policy on money instead of leading with the value of freedom from oppression. And I mean oppression from capital as well as from politicians and religion.
The way we fail to educate people in this country.
The way we demonize different points of view.
The way we let the market place make moral and artistic decisions for us.
Hell, I need to stop with this list—it simply reinforces my desire to escape from America.


P.R.: Can you give me and example of where you went against party loyalty and maybe even went against your own best interest for the good of America?

D.B.: Well , let’s just say I’ve never named names. Was that good for America? I don’t know, but it was never good for me!


P.R.: What’s the most significant position you held ten years ago that you no longer hold today, that you flipped on, you changed on because you actually see it differently?

D.B.: Fuck Pastor Rick, I flip-flop every day! Who hasn’t changed their mind? In fact this is just a stupid question (granted it may show some type of growth or regression). But if someone ten years ago saw me today, the biggest change in political thought they’d find is probably that I believe welfare should be some type of work fare. The assumption is that the person can work, if not in a traditional sense than maybe in a nontraditional sense. Or to receive welfare you need to go to school. But you have to do something, according to one’s ability to do something. But I will say, I think it should be a lot easier to qualify for welfare. (This actually has overtones of what Obama said.)


P.R.: What’s the most gut wrenching decision you’ve ever had to make and how did you process that, come to that decision?

D.B: Pastor Rick, that’s one macho question. There’s a real hidden “prove your manhood” vibe about it, and the truth is I ain’t no John Wayne. I’m white, male, working class, from the suburbs. So, how many really unique “gut wrenching” decisions do you think I’ve made? Watch a soap opera, take out anything half way interesting, and that’s it. Leave it to Beaver with more drugs and less sex.


P.R.: We’ll be back and we’re going to talk about world view in the next section.
[Cut to commercial insert ad and pay me.]


P.R.: What does it mean to you to trust in Christ and what does it mean on a daily basis? I mean, what does that really look like?

D.B.: Well Pastor Rick, I have to admit don’t I trust in Christ. I’m not sure why I would even do that. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need to believe in something that will help us, in some way conquer death. But the whole Jesus Christ thing just ain’t my bag.

But I do find the idea of Jesus and his stature as god a fascinating subject, especially the heretical gospels. In fact, the more heretical views of Jesus make the case for Jesus as one to trust in much more compelling. But what does it really look like for me? I’m sorry to say it doesn’t look like much.


P.R.: At what point does a baby get human rights in your view?

D.B.: When it becomes a baby. Your question really is when does life begin. There’s no scientific answer to that at this point in time. So the question is really about abortion; do I support a woman’s right to choice? The simple answer is yes. The more complicated answer is that I probably wouldn’t counsel someone to get an abortion. In the end, I believe that it is up to the woman, her conscience, and her god.


P.R.: Define marriage.

D.B.: Two consenting adults publicly committing themselves and, in doing so, happen to get some tax benefits.


P.R.: Would you support a constitutional amendment with that definition?

D.B: Sure, why not? But let’s be open to creating an even better and more inclusive definition.


P.R.: Do we still need federal funding for [stem cell] research? Would you still support that for embryo stem cells?

D.B.: Pastor Rick, I’m just gonna give short answers to these questions. The obvious answer is yes to both questions; however, I feel like you want to ask me more volatile questions but are afraid to because you’d be accused of something.


P.R.: Does evil exist and if it does do we ignore it, do we negotiate with it, do we contain it or do we defeat it?

This is really an interesting question. The concept of evil is interesting in that you are supposing evil is your enemy, thus your enemy is evil, thus you are good. I’m not sure I’m good enough to answer this question. But you do have to deal with that which is not you (assuming a very conventional view on the concept of reality).


P.R.: The courts. Let me ask it this way. Which existing supreme court justice would you not have nominated?

D.B.: See Obama’s answer on this one; he did a pretty good job of it.


P.R.: The Civil Rights Act of ’64 says that faith based organizations have the right to hire people that believe like they do. Would you insist that faith based organizations forfeit that right that access federal funds?

D.B.: Yes. Although I’ll tell you that here in New Orleans faith based organizations have done more for the city and its people than any U.S. governmental entity.


P.R.: Do you think better teachers should be paid better? Should they make more than poor teachers?

D.B.: I think you should be paid to do the job you’ve been hired to do. We need to fund continuing education programs for teachers, but if someone’s not doing the job, they really shouldn’t be paid. Find that person the job that they can perform well in.


P.R.: Taxes. This is a real simple question. Define Rich. I mean, give me a number.

D.B.: Let’s not dance around this. I think that $300,000 is plenty (and I don’t know anyone that makes even close to that). If you’re benefiting from the system, you should contribute more to the system. But in reality we need to figure out some type of formula or have an algorithm to figure out that number since economic variables and levels will always be changing.


P.R.: As an American, what’s worth dying for? What’s worth having to sacrifice of American lives for?

D.B.: That’s another tough question. I’ll tell you this Pastor Rick, Iraq is not a good reason to sacrifice American or Iraqi children. Dafur is a problem we should be involved in solving. But do we always need to think about war as the first choice? The problem is that we don’t get involved to the point that war becomes the only option. America has lost its leadership position and that is a reason why we’ve found ourselves in positions of weakness recently.


P.R.: What would be the criteria that you would commit troops to end the genocide, for instance, like what’s going on in Darfur or could happen in Georgia or anywhere else, a mass killing?

D.B.: To answer this with a set of criteria would be an arbitrary endeavor. The world isn’t that black and white. Let’s see what happens when it happens, then, by judging the specific situation—act accordingly.


P.R.: Would you be willing to consider and even commit to doing some kind of emergency plan for other fans like President Bush did with AIDS almost a President’s emergency plan for orphans to deal with the issue?

D.B: We should do a lot more to help people adopt and to prevent, as much as possible, the causes for children being put up for adoption—poverty, addiction, lack of education, etc.


P.R.: Religious persecution, what do you think the U.S. should do to end religious persecution for instance in China, in Iraq, and in many of our allies?

D.B.: Religious persecution. Ethnic and cultural genocide. Abuses of the rights of women and children. All of these and more are the types of crimes various governments we support are guilty of. Let’s assume we as a country condemn all of these practices. Then why do we not do something? Let’s look at who benefits. Usually, it’s a few fat cats. So I say let’s not only punish those countries, and I don’t mean going to war with them, but let’s punish those at home who benefit from those unlawful practices.


P.R.: Human trafficking. How do we speak out and how do you plan to do something about it?

D.B.: See above. But let’s actually put people responsible (on both ends of the equation) in prison, not a country club prison, but something like what poor people are thrown into.


P.R.: Tell me in a minute why you want to be President?

D.B.: You know what, if I have to keep answering questions like these, I really don’t want to be President. Fuck it.


P.R.: And I’ll just ask you what do you say to people who oppose me asking you these questions? That will be the last one.

D.B.: Fuck them. This is Amerika.


P.R.: What would you tell the American public if you knew there wouldn’t be any repercussions?

D.B.: You’re trying to set me up with that one!


P.R.: Thank you.

D.B.: No Pastor Rick. Thank you.

The World has Forced My Hand

It's been a year of "I don't really see a reason to do this." Well now that the election is upon us, I've realized that if I don't vent to someone other than my wife, I'll be creating problems for myself. So, get ready.

Where Have I Been?

A blog means responsibility.
I am not a responsible person.
This summer, I spent some time in Europe. Working. I.E. busy. Too busy to dally. But with open eyes, I felt as though I had been transported to Oz (The land of emerald enchantment, not the maximum security prison). New Orleans is a place that barely functions; Europe (or at least the little place I spent a month) functions with eight eco-friendly cylinders firing in perfect unison. Sure taxes are higher and everything costs more, but you know what? It's worth it. I wish I was an apocalyptic nut case, because I'd swear that we here in the states are approaching the end times.
What do we do right? Our leaders are amateurish buffoons; our businesses are greedy, life-force sucking profit machines; our people are generally ignorant (I include myself in that category, so don't complain!). Our neo-con, corporate war machine existence is at odds with "reality" (what ever that is). Instead of going to war with other countries, we should just bomb ourselves. Save mother nature and the rest of the world the trouble. That's what we are trouble. The "Axis of Evil" spins in Washington, D.C. and has left those of us in the middle flatted like the neo-con world view.
Granted I'm naive, but I just wish I could click my heels together, and...

We Already Hate Work...

But we're too stupid to even leave! Ahh, the whip of hunger...
http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2007-06-10-short-vacations-usat_N.htm?csp=34

Post #1.2 Paris Our Christ

Almost as soon as I created my first post, info contained within it was out of date. That innocent jewel Paris Hilton was not going to be treated like most African-American males. No. She was let out of prison! But as soon as I thought about updating the blog, because of the aforementioned out of date information, the imaginary update was out of date again. Thus, my original post was still up to date. In fact, my words ring even truer now.
You know, a lot of people are feeling sorry for Paris Hilton, and a lot of people are glad she’s in jail. When a large number of people have an opinion about any particular subject, or know enough about a particular subject to have an opinion about it, shows that that item must somehow be important. Because so many people have formed an opinion on this subject of Paris Hilton, that means Paris is somehow important. How? Becaue her plight exposes a well know truth as the truth that it is.

Many people are pissed off and worried that Paris will somehow escape justice and “buy her way out.” Since this is such a concern, because so many people are even thinking about this particular subject, Paris has to be thrown in jail to preserve the truth; and that truth is that the wealthy get off easier because of their wealth. If Paris did get off, the system would come under scrutiny thus exposing itself to reform.
But the system needs to preserve itself. This makes Paris the Christ figure in all this. She must sacrifice herself; it is demanded, and the system of the rich getting a free ride continues unabated.

Post #1 is not a f*** you post, I'll save that thought until later on

OK, this is it!

Now that Congressman William Jefferson, who represents me (please!), has been formally indicted, and that I have listened to Mayor C. Ray (Where?) Nagin give his “State of the City” speech; and that I have watched my neighbors wait over two hours for police to come to a crime scene (a six minute drive from the police station); and that crime in general in the US is up (wonder why?); and that the “surge” in Iraq is officially a failure (surprise); and that Paris Hilton is in jail (sob); I, humble nobody who has wanted nothing more than to keep below the radar, has entered into the passé world of blogging (do we really need another one?) (No!). So here it is:

About halfway from the crime scene to the police station is Congressman William Jefferson’s house. It’s the house with the famous freezer containing $90,000 in marked bills. Recently, Jefferson was reelected in spite of his impending (at the time) indictments. It was one of the few elections that I did not vote in. His opposition, another politically connected, nothing of a candidate, partially in charge of insurance in the state, gave voters no reason to vote for her. Still, that the system (and political party—both democrats) offers up such sad, pathetic candidates, only proves that government is nothing but a self-serving business that will profit off the backs and labor of the people in order to turn a profit for its managers (politicians) and owners (big, trans-national business).

One of Jefferson’s supporters in his last campaign was none other than Mayor C(hocolate) Ray Nagin. This week he gave a speech accompanied with more pomp and circumstance than a British Royal Funeral. In that speech, Nagin did what he excels at—nothing. Sure he said some things, made slight of his inability to actually communicate with compassion and tact, and pointed fingers in every direction other than towards himself. Our very own Chocolate Jesus nailed by Bush and Blanco to the cross created by Katrina. (Don’t get me wrong, both Bush and Blanco are failures in everything they touch.) However, Nagin with his speech, that contained no new information, again showed an utter and complete lack of political leadership. If you want someone who whines better than my one year-old, go with Nagin. If you want vision, go talk to the blind man selling pencils.

In the early morning hours before Nagin’s non-speech, a booming crashing sound woke my wife and I. From my dreamy haze, I thought I heard the sounds of cars racing, must be drag racing—it was 4:00am. The next day, I walked over to a neighbor to ask him how his barbershop quartet concert went, when he asked if I heard what happened last night.

You mean the sound of a dumpster falling (there are dumpsters all over the neighborhood)?

Dumpster! It was a car that nearly hit my house, he said.

What? (This is two doors from my house.)

Yeah, a guy hit some cars then nearly hit my house.

Did you call the cops? (Silly question for multiple reasons.)

He laughed. That’s where the story is.

Well, it turns out that he called the cops four times during the course of events.
(A bunch of other, non-dreaming, neighbors also called the cops.) To make a long, crazy story, a short crazy story, during one of the calls, when told that one of the people in the car, which smashed into at least five cars, was apparently injured and was hiding on the porch of a vacant, flooded house, the police suggest that my neighbor call the paramedics! (911’s a joke!) Of course, an ambulance arrived first. Blah, blah, blah. The cops, whose station is six minutes away, arrived over two hours later. Blah, blah, blah. (Today it was announced that last year New Orleans was the murder capital of the United States! Depending on your population figures, whether the inflated Chocolate one or the realistic, open your eyes and look around ones, the murder rate per capita was between 63.5—72.6 /per 100,000, more than Gary, IN or Detroit, MI. This as the DA dismisses more murder charges. (He does a good job of not working.) In the Sunday Times-Picayune, a map was published showing where the murders occurred and whether or not the case was open, solved, or a conviction had occurred. Well, good fucking job to District Attorney Eddie Jordan and his crew of ineffectual political cronies—ONE conviction for a murder last year! Give the man a raise, a city funded SUV and driver!)

But let’s not kid ourselves, this isn’t just a local problem. Crime and ineffectuality are up all over the entire country (granted, this is historically true when we have a Republican in the White House). The New York Times and NBC reported that for the second year straight, violent crime has risen. This year it is up nationally1.3%, in small and medium sized cities it went up 3.2% [robbery up 6%, murder in big cities up nearly 7%]. (Ahh middle America, here come the chickens. Get to Wal-Mart® and arm yourselves. Oh, 75% of homicides are caused by guns!)

Speaking of guns, the appointed president’s “surge” is turning out to be a dry hump that is costing even more lives. Iraq is FUBAR. George Bush, his neo-con handlers and the ignorant flag-waving voters are the one’s responsible for it. Simple. Now, we all pay. A personal “thank you” to everyone who voted for George Bush and the deaths of innocent Americans and Iraqis.

However, here in American we’ve got even bigger problems than our destruction of Iraq, crime, ineffectual leadership, the destruction of the environment, we are all shocked and dismayed that one of our own, someone we can all relate too, “one of us,” our all American, cute, white, slut next door, Paris Hilton is being treated like the average, African-American male. I must admit I’m a big fan of Paris. I think the reason she is so popular for doing nothing (she should go into politics) is that we as a nation, better than nation (how limited), as a culture, are starving for freedom. (Ironic!) We, the land of the free, are one of the most constrained peoples on the planet (considering our political and economic platitudes). We get hardly any vacation and least amount of family leave; our health-care system is in a shambles; we don’t educate our citizenry (just look at the last election); we are exporting all of our jobs; we are the most stress out people in the world; Blah, blah, blah. We’re number one. We’re number one! (The big lies.)

We are in need and the answer is, obviously, less government! More Big Business!

And more blogs.

Ok, that’s my first blog entry. The others will be more fun, I promise.